Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Moving On

I've wanted to write this post for a while and was just not sure how I would put it together.  I just want to talk about friendship and life for a minute. When Tyler and I were finishing up college we had some troubles with friends. People not understanding our relationship; us not responding how we should have. After a while I kind of just gave up on having good friends. People I thought were my friends, weren't after all, and I thought all people must be two faced and I shouldn't expect anything from them. I felt like this for a while. I was really hurt and had no interest in trusting anybody but Tyler. I had a few great people who came into my life and were wonderful and I began to hope for something new when we moved to Nashville. 


Since we've been here (only about two months and almost a half) it's been really wonderful. I've been thrilled that my blog has helped me connect with people and that Tyler and I are getting involved doing different things. It's always a bit of a slow going when getting into a new town and trying to make a life for yourself, but I feel like we're finally on our way. 
Friends come into our lives and sometimes leave just as quickly.  I've really been learning that some people are truly just for a season, even if you thought other wise. Friendships can be hard and I want to learn to cultivate and grow in the ones I have now, not dwell on the ones I once had. It's been incredibly difficult at times. I've really grieved over friendships lost, but I'm learning to look forward and stop looking behind at what once was.


skirt q's daydream
blouse thrifted
cardigan vintage
tights target
shoes jessica simpson


Thanks for letting me talk, sometimes you just need to talk about something to help heal.

What are some things you have been struggling with lately?

xo,
 Em

66 comments:

  1. I am so very glad to have found you across the ocean. Today is a grand day.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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  2. The important thing to remember is that you're not alone! I've had the same experience with friends. It's sad to let people go, but that's just life. Glad you're feeling better now that you're in Nashville :)

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  3. You have impeccable timing for posting this! I was dwelling on the very same topic this morning. I'm a newlywed and I've noticed a few of my friends from the past pulling away from our friendship ever since I got married. Every time I call or text and ask them to hang out, they are always busy or just say they can't. At first I thought maybe there was something I was doing wrong, but maybe I just need to come to terms with they just don't want to be my friend anymore...I remember feeling upset on the playground in preschool because the girls didn't want to play unicorns with me, haha...even though it's many years later and theres a lot more to it than unicorns, the feeling is very similar. We're all human and it still sucks when someone doesn't want to be your friend anymore.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Joi

    http://joyful-wife-joiful-life.blogspot.com/

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  4. You look beautiful as usual, loving the blouse and the cardigan!

    I had trouble with some friends a couple of years ago a few people really let me down, for a while I was really down about it but it just made me realise who my real friends really are. It's made me a lot more wary of people and I will never let people get close to me like I used too, the worse thing for me was loyalty, a loyal friend is the best friend you can have

    It's nice to see that you have moved on and that you are happy.

    Lucy Loves To Blog

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  5. I moved every couple of years when I was young so i was used to making new friends in new schools. Now i'm older and wiser...and married, i really sometimes have to make an effort to keep friends ships up. I could so easily live in a little bubble of me and my Mr, my blog and my books. hmmm would that be so bad?

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  6. I know exactly what you mean. Over a year ago I had a falling out with a friend who hurt me and I hurt her. Recently she's tried to reconnect and I'm just having a hard time of doing it. I don't trust people a lot. That's what I've been dealing with, trust. It really is so hard to trust when you've been burned many times.

    I'm glad that you are able to open up more. :) I know I should listen to my own advice, but just because some people hurt you doesn't mean everyone will.

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  7. I'm so glad you posted this. Keith and I are going through something similar. A dear friend of Keith's is getting married this weekend, and the bride and groom have stopped speaking to us for reasons they won't explain. Keith went from being the best man to being kicked out of the wedding entirely. He's grieving, and I'm bewildered.

    I'm sorry you experienced something similar, but it's good to know that we're not alone. Relationships change, and it's good to be reminded that even though it hurts, it's not unusual.

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  8. This is SUCH a darling outfit. I love your sweater, and your blouse especially. You look like you're from another time period, and I love everything about it. <3

    following, and look forward to future posts.
    xx
    Lilithfashion.blogspot.com

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  9. Oh my Goodnes you look so pretty <3 I love everything about this outfit, girl :)
    if you want we can follow each other?
    kisses, Marta

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  10. You look so stunning, you have that Hollywood glamour look.
    Thanks for sharing this. In college I learned that as my sisters and I get older that you really don't need a whole line of friends. Having 1 or 2 friends you can truly depend on is better than having 10 good friends who don't add any value to you life and well being. I think women sometimes feel like they need a lot of girlfriends.
    Great post! :)

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  11. I know exactly how you feel. It can be hard making friends, and even harder keeping them sometimes! Since I'm a stay at home mom, it's difficult getting time to get out and talk to grown-ups but when it is, it sure is wonderful. I think blogging has really helped me connect with people that share the same interests too. Off topic, I adore your outfit! Those colors look so fantastic on you :) x

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  12. This post is so nice :) and photos too :)

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  13. I agree, sometimes friends come and go and it's really freaking hard but you just gotta let time do its thing. Also I am loving the tied-shirt look at the moment, and the pastels. Perfect :)

    China Lily

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  14. I agree with you cause I'm feeling the same in past half of the year...It was a surprise for me cause my last post was almost exactly about the same topic [I just wrote it not in english] :) So...maybe it's just a mood in the air?

    Btw I love your look x

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  15. This post resonates deeply with me, as I too have felt much the same way regarding friendships (and sometimes romantic relationships, for that matter) at various points throughout my life.

    I've never been the social butterfly that my brother and sister are, so the friendships that have made throughout my life have meant all the more to me (because I wasn't apt to have scads of them at any given time). The older I get through, the more I find that accepting that some friendships are not destined to be forever, the easier life becomes - and also the easier it is to move on and cultivate new friendships (without the lingering baggage/worries/etc of those that are fading away, or finished, looming over you).


    With a heart full of understanding,
    ♥ Jessica

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  16. your blog is so adorable! I LOVE THE LOOK! thanks for the comments on my blog

    www.lifeisjustrosie.com

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  17. i totally understand where you are coming from. i have a few difficult relationships in my life where trust as been broken and since then it has been hard for me but i deal with it a little each day. i am a 100% loyal person and have a really hard time when i don't get that loyalty back but i have been really good at standing up for myself and knowing when to let go because who needs people in your life that don't make you happy for put in as much as you do. we are both worth then that and we deserve people in our lives that can see that. i seems like things are getting better and i hope they continue!
    xo,
    cb

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  18. I love and miss you, gorgeous girl. :)

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  19. Your hair is so pretty as always and I must say that your cardigan is beaaauuuutiful! :))

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  20. this is so lovely! all the pictures and everything are just so darling!

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  21. Oh girl you aren't alone. I seem to always put my eggs in one basket when it comes to friendships. I lost a very important friendship as I began dating my now best friend. She was the only friend I had, so I immediately latched on to my boyfriend. That turned out to be one of the problems in our relationship 2 and half years later (present time) and we just broke up. He is still my best friend, but it did limit me and what I did with my life. So I have been trying to find as many people that I can trust and have a true friendship with. It is so hard because I don't let a lot of people in. It is something that a lot of people have to work on.

    Ana
    AnaCloud Vintage
    ANACLOUD

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  22. it is the first time I visit your blog and from today I'll come here every single day! I so in love with your blog is amazing and unique so you have a new follower in all your social networks :D

    xoxo
    http://jemenfousss.blogspot.mx/

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  23. I like how you talk about these things in such an honest way, I understand what you mean. It's hard when you make a good friend and then life moves you in different directions. It's great that you are open to making new friends. I have found living in a new city it can take a while to find your feet.

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  24. You look so beautiful in these pictures. And yes, I totally agree with what you say about friendships and relationships - sometimes people really do just walk into our lives for a short period of time, then leave without us even realizing it. It can be really hard to find those true friends that will always be there for you to support you no matter what. But when you find them, they're definitely keepers.

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  25. It's definitely harder to keep good friends as we age and grow, but those who stick with you and understand you most are the ones worth holding on to. I hope your new friends are just as awesome as you!

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

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  26. Amazing outfit and photos! I love it :)

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  27. That blouse is beautiful and the pattern on it is so dainty but adorable! I've been in a similar sort of rut in terms of how I've been thinking about friendships and people in my life. I know I'm young and all but it's only been in the past year that I've made solid friends that have not yet left. But I easily get paranoid that they will or are disappearing. I guess being accepting of people coming and going is an important thing for me to learn!


    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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  28. Really nice look, classic & vintage. Your hair look amazing.
    xoxo
    Christy

    http://am2pmchic.blogspot.com/

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  29. Wow, this rings really true for me. I hate to tell you this, but as a thirty-something year old, people don't change. I just recently came out of a "bad friendship" ... and I also handled it poorly. Instead of telling the person all of the things that she said that hurt my feelings and made me feel small, I continued the relationship far too long...and when things became unbearable, I just stopped talking to her. At one point, I felt like that was one of my true adult friendships...and then to have it end that way was devastating. But there are great folks out there...and it's important to keep looking until you find them. You only have a short amount of time in life...far to short to spend it with people that don't lift you up and help you become the best person you can be.

    ...er...sorry for the long comment...but this was like therapy to me. What a great post, Emma!

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  30. I know exactly how you feel. I recently had something similar happen with my best friend. We had grown up together and now for a lot of reasons we barely speak to each other. We've agreed to try to work on our friendship but it's still not the same. It definitely hurts when people let you down and betray your trust. But in time it gets easier and God brings new people and new friendships into your life. It's been a long journey but I've made a new start and new adventure. I'm glad that you guys are making a new life for yourself too!

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  31. this was written perfectly. ive definitely felt the same way before. sometimes friends are only there for a certain time in your life and when the friendship ends, it was just meant to end. theres always someone else waiting to be your buddy :)

    Xo,
    steffy
    Steffys Pros and Cons

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  32. thank you for your lovely comment on my blog :)
    that skirt is insane! you look so gorgeous xx.

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  33. ogm seriously cute outfit and i love these photos!

    x

    SHOPSTYLECONQUER.COM

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  34. First, I love your outfit so much!

    I know what you mean about friends. It's sad sometimes when you think you've met amazing people but then you just grow apart or there is juvenile drama. I think the people who are true friends will always remain in your life though.

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  35. To my shame I'm having trouble dealing with the baby talk from all my friends, when my partner and I have been trying for years, unsuccessfully, to have a baby. With each pregnancy I hear announced at work, or one of my girlfriends, instead of feeling joy for them, I feel sadness for myself. Which is wrong and terrible, but I just can't help it. I even avoid social situations where there will be new mums as it just makes me feel bad about myself. :(

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  36. My darling and I talked about old riends just a day ago. He told me about this friend he had in his teens and hom much fun they had had. Even when they moved to different parts of the country they kept in touch with long letters, but eventually the contact waned and they haven't talked in years. But, he added, you don't grow apart if you feel the need to see each other. It was a good friendship, but it had its time and place, and that is gone now. I can feel the same about some old friends, like my best friend when I was in my late teens. We spent all our time together and I really loved her because she was the sweetest person you can imagine. But we have nothing in common anymore. I still like her and I'm always happy to see her, but we have nothing to say to each other anymore. Our interests are so different that all we can talk about is our old memories. Which are great fun to do once in a very long while, but nothing you can sustain a friendship on.

    I have a few very close friends and I think one of teh things that really tell if they are, is that even if you don't see each other for long periods of time, even years, you always feel like you have just seen each other and have so much to talk about.

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  37. Firstly: I love your outfit!!! That skirt by Quincy is so pretty. I'm eying that gingham playsuit and hoping maybe I'll get some birthday money next month. ;)

    Anyway, I can totally understand about friendships. A lot of friends I've made over the years have drifted away as we've moved, or someone has made a life change, etc. But some of my best friends are scattered all over the country and ones I may not see for years, but we can always pick right back up! ;) I"m glad you're getting settled in Nashville too--it's tough when you first move somewhere and don't know anyone. :)

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  38. Sorry to be double commenting on here but - I did a little illustration that's pretty inspired by you & your style, if you'd like to go check it out :)

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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  39. Loved your look, is soo cute! <3
    We can follow each other? xx

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  40. thank you so much for your beautiful comment.
    kisses
    fran

    showroomdegarde.blogspot.com

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  41. Thank you for your comment! You look so pretty! I love your Style!

    xoxox
    Herzton

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  42. omg you are so beautiful,you look just like Dita Von Teese <3

    follow you <3

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  43. you look so pretty - I'm glad to hear you and tyler are well on your way!

    xxx
    www.ladyalamode.com

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  44. this is such a great look. and you are so pretty xx

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  45. love the cardigan and blouse! sweet outfit

    delicatelyfierce.blogspot.com

    Join my clubcouture giveaway

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  46. Hi new follower!
    You are really beautiful!
    http://anotsosecretlifeofapakiteen.blogspot.com/

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  47. This post really speaks to me. I have had numerous friendships that have never felt true because I was always too insecure within them. Once I saw in a tv show a character say «The moment I knew this person was my real friend was when I felt I could have a fight with them and not fear losing their friendship.» I've always felt I couldn't be myself with friends because I thought they would leave. The truth of the matter is that, with life and personal issues, they did but also so did I.

    The point is, I think I've learnt a lot and, at this point, I don't think I have many friends at all. My wish is to make my life elsewhere, which is something that also keeps me from cultivating friendships where I am right now.

    I think you're a lovely person even though I'm not sure. It just feels like you'd be a really good friend. I hope it all gets even better where you and Tyler are right now :)


    xo Joana


    P.S. - Sorry for the long comment. I guess I had a lot to say :P

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  48. you look really fab !i love it!!!



    xoxo from rome
    K.
    kcomekarolina.com

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  49. Beautiful & I know how you feel with friendships! There comes a point where you just have to let go and you start to realize who your true friends are.

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  50. GREAT photos, girl! I'm new here and I LOVE the look and feel of your site so far! Off to check out some more posts. Have a wonderful week! xo

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  51. It's great that you're moving on from your past friendships issues.
    Right now I'm struggling with deciding what I want to do with my life, I hate growing up :(

    Lovely photos and wow you are so beautiful!

    :)

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  52. very 50s ! love this post :)

    http://fashion-gourmet.blogspot.com/

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  53. Love the photos! However I have to say that, categorically, I really don't think it's healthy for a person not to have friends outside their romantic relationships. I have so many friends who, as soon as they get a boyfriend, shut themselves away and always prioritise the man over friendships. I don't think there should have to be a choice between the two, but a healthy balance. Fundamentally, you can't get everything you need from one relationship, be it with your friends or boyfriend. It's really important not to become a little bubble, because that means missing out on so many incredible things. <3

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  54. I can completely relate to this post and I also have been through the same situation. It has been hard and I spent a long time friendless and it really upset me, my boyfriend has been a huge support and been there every step of the way. Recently I started a friendship with a girl from work, and while I have been wary at the start, it is making me feel happy and I enjoy spending time with another girl.

    Things work out in the end, it is just the how long that tends to get us down.

    Thank you for your lovely comment.

    Lou
    www.thekeypieces.co.uk

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  55. cute!!!

    http://glamourgirl-bg.blogspot.com/

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  56. Hey, girl. I just found you blog and I have to say I love it!! <3
    You're clothes are perfect.
    I'm a new follower.

    estrellasdefebrero.blogspot.com

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  57. Hello! Thanx for dropping by our blog and commenting! Love your outfit and also your 50s styling!
    Hey and about your post, I guess that's life. Some friends come and go but I'm just thankful for a few great friends who never left my life!
    Fang Ting
    ftashion

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  58. adooore your hair, it is PERFECT! i'd love to do a similar coif but i don't think i have enough hair haha!
    yeah, and i think that the friendship problem is even more avid in high school (where I am), esp. when transitioning into college. as said above, that's the way life is, unfortunately. but it's great to have people that are true, genuine friends--they are the ones that i can actually look to!

    following :)
    xx

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  59. nice post. i suppose i know what you are talking about... during the past few years i lost a lot of friends (actually i didn't lost them all - but today i know some of them aren't that close... i had to rate some friendships again and again). living in another city brought some new people to my life. i appreciate knowing them - i found some amazing new friends...

    great outfit. love it.

    http://wardrobexperience.blogspot.de

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  60. You look so lovely and I enjoyed reading your well-written post about friendships. So true, so true.

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  61. You are so lovely! I think you are coping well :)

    college dating

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